


Too In Love to Let It Go

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Boys In Love, Future Fic, M/M, angsty fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-01 18:56:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15780090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: Loving Yuri has been an odd mixture of patience and diving off the deep end.  The patience can be frustrating - but also so, so worth it.





	Too In Love to Let It Go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LeCheesie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeCheesie/gifts).
  * Inspired by [X & Y](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12056235) by [LeCheesie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeCheesie/pseuds/LeCheesie). 



Otabek stood at the doorway, watching the wind blow Yuri’s hair around as he shivered. He’d grown, a lot, in the last few years, and the moonlight made the pale skin exposed by the lack of pants almost seem to glow. Staring at Yuri’s legs was always something Otabek enjoyed – Yuri was a skater and a dancer and his legs reflected that beautifully with their perfect musculature. In the quiet of the night, it was easy to believe that Yuri was some sort of otherworldly being, not quite human, not quite not human, but some perfect, aching mix of human and divine and spirit.

There were parts of Yuri that, even as close as Otabek had gotten to his one-time idol, Yuri still kept guarded so closely that Otabek wasn’t sure he even knew what all of them were. Their friendship had started in a whirlwind, going from Yuri having no idea who Otabek was when they passed each other in the hotel lobby despite the fact that they would be competing against each other in a few days to needing to talk to each other as often as possible in less than a week. Inseparable wasn’t the right word, after all they were three time zones apart, but they didn’t go any longer than they had to without hearing each other’s voices on the phone. Leaving Almaty again had hurt, but with Yuri on the other end, it was well worth the pain.

They hadn’t taken the step to become lovers for years, even despite that. Otabek watched Yuri go through boyfriend after boyfriend, none of which deserved him. None of which left Yuri anywhere near as well off as they’d found him at the beginning of their relationship. After the last one, Yuri had started talking about giving up. Love was for gross old men and piggies, not for tigers. A month later, Yuri had asked Otabek about giving love one last chance. “I was scared to ask this before. Every time I get torn apart, you’re always right there to help hold me together until I can do it myself. I don’t think I have it in me to go through that again, even with your help. I get torn apart again, there’s no healing from that. Think you can be the guy to not leave me in pieces when you’re bored and wanting to move on?”

Otabek knew the history. He understood why Yuri was so cautious, so guarded, so protective of pieces of himself. He understood. All the understanding in the world didn’t make it not hurt, though. Every time Yuri shut him out, Otabek felt a piece of his heart break. It was worth it. Yuri was worth it. Otabek tried to be patient, to let Yuri open up to him at his own pace, but that didn’t always work out.

When Yuri tossed his cigarette off the balcony and stretched, Otabek very deliberately made noise with the sliding door, open so Potya could go out and join Yuri if he wanted to. It got Yuri’s attention. “Yura, you’re up late.”

“I needed a smoke,” Yuri said, looking over Otabek before going to sit back down.

Otabek frowned slightly. So it was going to be one of those nights. He went out onto the balcony, trying to keep his focus on Yuri instead of looking down at the long drop. “You shouldn’t stay out too late. You’ll catch a cold.” Even in summer, Saint Petersburg could be cold at night, and Yuri was very much exposed to the weather. He sat beside Yuri, pulling him into his arms as though he could protect Yuri from the chill that way. It took Yuri a couple seconds to relax, but when he did, he melted completely into Otabek’s arms. “Come inside,” Otabek whispered, taking Yuri’s hand and leading him back to the bedroom.

Yuri didn’t resist at all as Otabek maneuvered him into the bed, cuddled into Otabek’s arms with Otabek’s nose in Yuri’s hair. For all Yuri’s scorn of Viktor’s obsession with his hair, Yuri was just as bad, not that Otabek would ever say that. He had an extensive range of products, keeping his hair flawless and perfect and smelling like heaven. Otabek wanted this to be every night, wanted to never have to wonder if he’d get to hold Yuri like this when he went to bed. He started kissing Yuri’s shoulders, gently brushing the golden tendrils out of his way. “When are you going to let me move in with you?”

He hadn’t meant to, but Yuri’s shrug made him realize he’d said it out loud. “You always blow it off when I bring it up, Yura. It feels like two steps forward, two steps back.” He continued his work, moving the shirt Yuri wore out of his way as he explored the familiar territory. “I know you’re scared of getting hurt again, but please, you know I’m different. Let me move in with you, Yura.” He could feel Yuri starting to respond, instead of just accept the touches, starting to grind into him. “Please?”

“I’ll think about it,” Yuri said, causing Otabek to gasp a little and then smile. It was more than he’d ever gotten from Yuri before. The grinding up against him, that was familiar, but the promise was new. It felt like a major breakthrough.

When he was younger, Otabek had always thought he’d like sex that was rough, demanding, passion exploding between two people until they couldn’t take it anymore. Somehow, Yuri had seemed like the type, too. There were nights when it was like that, when it was all either of them could do to keep any kind of control instead of just going for it as hard and as fast as they could.

And yet, Otabek found he preferred nights like this. Nights when he could take his time, when he could take his time, slowly and systematically removing any barriers between the two of them and arousing so much more than just passion and lust. It was slow, it was gentle, it was nothing like Otabek had ever imagined, and yet it was so much more. This felt like Yuri trusting him. This felt like Yuri loving him, like Yuri giving himself over without abandoning his comfort. Sometimes, Yuri needed a little push to get started, but once it happened, Yuri was all in. By the time Otabek was thrusting into Yuri, he could feel the love surrounding him, almost like a pair of wings wrapped around the two of them, blocking out everything else in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> High up above or down below  
> When you're too in love to let it go  
> But if you never try you'll never know  
> Just what you're worth
> 
> Lights will guide you home  
> And ignite your bones  
> And I will try to fix you  
> \- "Fix You", Coldplay


End file.
